Have you ever felt like you're playing a role in your own life? Like you're wearing shoes that don’t quite fit, dancing to someone else's rhythm?
If so, welcome. You’re not alone.
Most of us begin life full of laughter, wonder, and curiosity—the radiant light of our true self. But somewhere along the way, we’re taught to “behave,” to “fit in,” to “grow up.” We learn to please, to perform, and to protect ourselves. In that process, we build a structure to help us survive and navigate the world: our ego.
But here’s the thing: the ego was never meant to lead the dance. It’s a tool, not your truth.
The Ego and the Inner Child: Two Dancers, One Stage
Carl Jung once said, “The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.” And what a dance that is.
Our ego—the polished, organized version of us—helps us function, succeed, and stay safe. But beneath it lies something raw, real, and infinitely precious: your inner child. That part of you that’s curious, playful, spontaneous, emotional, and honest. The part that danced freely, laughed loudly, and cried unapologetically.
But what happens when that child’s needs aren’t met? When they’re told “Don’t cry,” “Be good,” or “That’s not how we behave”? They learn to suppress. They shrink. And slowly, the ego takes the lead.
Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” and still feel disconnected? That’s your inner child knocking—asking to be seen again.
Shoes That Hurt: When the Ego Protects Too Much
Imagine dancing passionately—completely lost in the rhythm—when suddenly, a voice interrupts: “You’re doing it wrong.”
That voice is the ego, trying to choreograph your every move. It says, “Wear these shoes, even if they hurt.” It insists you look the part, even if your soul is aching.
For example, when I was young, I learned that love meant sacrifice. I believed I had to give everything to be loved—my time, my truth, my boundaries. It made me compassionate, yes. But it also made me forget myself. Reclaiming my truth meant learning to say no, to rest, and to choose myself without guilt. That was my inner child saying: “I matter too.”
So… what message did your child absorb?
Your Power Lies in the Present
Healing Is a Reclamation, Not a Reinvention
The ego lives in the past or the future. It clings to identities, regrets, anxieties, achievements. But your true self? It lives right now—in your breath, your body, your choice.
Ask yourself:
- What did I love as a child?
- What made me giggle, dream, feel alive?
- What parts of me did I hide just to belong?
Reconnecting to your true self isn’t a dramatic transformation. It’s a remembering. A return to what’s always been there.
You are not broken. You don’t need to be “fixed.” You simply need space to hear your truth again.
Our wounds are like pearls—formed by irritation, shaped by time. They don’t define us, but they can become beautiful if we view them with compassion.
Every pain holds a gift. Every block hides a lesson. When we stop judging our past and start listening to it, we stop surviving and start living.
Let me ask you: what if the parts you’ve hidden are actually the keys to your greatest joy?
Practices for Reconnecting to Your True Self
- Pause: Just 3 deep breaths. Be still. Listen. What does your body feel? What is your heart whispering?
- Write: Let your thoughts spill onto the page. Ask your inner child: “What do you need from me today?”
- Reflect: Notice when your ego steps in—when you’re trying to prove, please, or protect. Say: “Thank you for trying to keep me safe, but I’ve got this now.”
- Move: Dance barefoot. Sing loudly. Paint with no purpose. Play again.
You are more than your roles. More than your pain. More than your past.
You are already whole.
And if this speaks to you—if you’re ready to take off the shoes that don’t fit and dance to your own rhythm—I’d be honored to walk beside you in this journey. Whether through therapy, writing, mindfulness, or simply sitting with your truth, the path back to yourself is always waiting.
Are you ready to remember who you truly are?
Written by Alice Bertoldo, Fung Tsoi Lam Christel and Amanda Prudencio Rebeschini